i am not with my family today, but that’s alright. it was my own decision to not be.
i have three people sleeping on my living room floor. three very tired people who are probably really tired of sleeping on peoples’ living room floors. i just met them yesterday but i’m entirely certain they’re some of the most beautiful people i’ve ever met.
i’m grateful for a lot of stuff today. i think this holiday is mostly bullshit & celebrating the beginning of the destruction of the native people of this country by stuffing our faces with enough food to feed a lot of starving people for a really long time is totally stupid, but taking time to think about how nice your life is is not a bad thing. although, this should be done every day.
i have more than i need. the fact that my biggest problem right now is the fact that the boy i like doesn’t like me back is pretty fucking sweet. the fact that that is literally my biggest problem is…ridiculous. it’s almost unfair. i have a lot to work with. i have a lot of opportunity & resources to help folks who have far bigger things to worry about. so i hope that i am able to pick my lazy ass up and start doing that more.
anyway, i do hope you enjoy your days today. but let’s start using how blessed and grateful we are to help people who don’t have much to be grateful about.
I find it odd that I spend more time observing the affects of love than I do trying to experience it for myself. I suspect, however, that this outcome is the result of not knowing anyone I want to invest so much emotion in and also the belief that there’s no fellow in the world who is dumb enough to want to hold my hand.
jeanette fucking beswick is going to be here in less than two weeks and it couldn’t come at a better time. i can’t really describe how excited i am with words…only sounds. loud ones.
starting fresh, again.
make it count this time, kelley. make it fucking count.