of course, right when i express interest in leaving minneapolis, everyone comes out of the woodwork to tell me how much they appreciate me and how horrible it would be if i left. one person in particular who i have been falling in, at the very least, extreme like with for the last six months. why all y’all gotta go makin’ things complicated.
last night i heard my neighbor having really loud sex at 4am. this has never happened before and i think i have been mildly traumatized, although i really do hope it happens again so i can be hilarious and yell funny things through the wall.
also, my laptop bit it and so my internettings are few and far between these days. that’s alright; i’ve become really disenchanted with things that have screens.
drunk and sad and on the internet.
lynchburg was… pure joy.
i needed this trip more than i realized i did, i think. i didn’t realize how hopeless and cynical i had become here in minneapolis until i left…and that’s not me. i’m not hopeless and cynical. i’m not that girl who is always walking around with a chip on her shoulder. i love people and i love life, a whole lot, but i can’t thrive in a place where i don’t feel appreciated or noticed or taken care of. what happens to people when they are in a place like that is that they turn into little bitches.
my efforts at creating relationships with the people here have been like, for lack of a better metaphor, going down a one way street…and i’m tired of it. i already had friends when i got here, or i assumed as much. it should not be this way…but it is. i have tried and tried and tried and now i am exhausted and i don’t care. i don’t understand how i can be here for seven months and still not feel welcome, and i can be in lynchburg for a couple of hours and feel completely at home and like i never even left. i wasn’t anxious. i wasn’t lonely. i wasn’t worried about whether or not i’d have to spend the night alone. people there genuinely give a shit about one another, even folks they just met, and that is the kind of place i need to be.
while there, i couldn’t wait for the nights to be over…not because the day was shit and i didn’t want to deal with it anymore…but because it had been so great and lovely and i couldn’t wait to wake up the next day and do it again. i haven’t felt that way, well…pretty much since the last time i was there. i’m tired of being unhappy when it is in my power to get the hell out of here and change that.
point is, i’m moving back. anyone wanna live in a really cute one bedroom apartment with my really really nice roommate and only pay $270 for rent? i’ll throw in a free, ultra hip loft bed. giant bargain!
so i’ve been in lynchburg since friday and it’s been incredible to say the very least.
i’m gonna have a really hard time leaving.
oh, also, i’m 21 today. finally.
lynchburg in less than 48 hours.